Angel FM

I was sitting in traffic when the buzzing started to fill my ears. That’s how I knew it wasn’t my tinnitus acting up. That only affected my left ear. This was like having a million angry hornets doing the conga on my eardrums. I threw on my blinker and pulled onto the shoulder, remembering to turn on my hazard lights and started fiddling with my ears. It must’ve been quite a site. A three hundred pound guy sitting in his pick up truck squinting and flapping his earlobes in and out with both pointer fingers. Nobody pulled over to see if I was in distress though, not even the cop that passed by.

Eventually the buzzing dimmed to a distant hum. Then it went silent. There’s nothing more disconcerting than having constant sound only to have it replaced with dead silence. At first I panicked. I thought my hearing had finally gone after too many years of standing next to the speakers at loud rock concerts. Dazed, I sat in my car giving the highway ahead of me my best impression of a thousand yard stare.  A car drove by, then another. It registered on some primal level that I was hearing the cars whip past before I saw them.

My shoulders trembled and I burst into tears, resting my head on the steering column. The horn sounded its steady wail from the pressure, rejoicing in the fact that I could hear I didn’t lift my head. That’s when I heard the first.

Please, God, don’t let that person be in trouble. I know I’m a RN a legally required to stop, but it’s the first day of my vacation and I just want to get the beach, please that driver be okay, please, God.

Surprised, I jerked my head up to see who had pulled over and was approaching my car whispering such a fervent prayer. Peering around there was no one near me but there was a blue civic approaching on the highway.

Oh, thank you, God, they’re all right. i can just enjoy my week at the beach. Thank-

I missed the rest of her thanks as the civic zoomed by. I was pretty sure that she had pressed the gas pedal just a little bit harder as she passed me as well. I knew it was a her rather than a him because it had definitely been a woman’s voice that I’d heard in my head. Alarmed, I flipped off my hazards and pulled back onto the highway. There was an exit not too far from where I had pulled off with a payphone outside of a diner. I gunned the engine, not caring if a cop decided to pull me over. Five minutes later I was parked in front of the payphone.

Please, God, let this tank of gas last the week. Friday is payday and I’ll be able to afford gas again, but I just can’t afford any now, so please, let it last.

I looked over. There was a waitress getting out of a beat of Ford. I guess she wasn’t planning on getting any tips. Maybe her boss only paid them out on payday, I don’t know. The fact was, I was hearing other peoples voices. I got out of my pickup and walked up to the payphone. I plunked two quarters in, highway robbery, and called up my boss, letting him know I needed a personal day. Thankfully, I didn’t hear any thoughts from him. I guessed that it might not work over the phone. After I hung up, I leafed through the attached phone book, finding a shrink that operated nearby.

Dropping in two more coins, I dialed the number and set up an emergency appointment. I didn’t know what was happening, but one thing fixed itself as a certainty in my mind. If your brain starts doing things that it shouldn’t, you’re either gonna get locked up, or die like Travolta in that movie Phenomenon. I got in my truck and started driving to the shrink’s office. I was in for an interesting day.


Apropos of: This Link

-Crouse

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